So angry but i can't tell the full story to anybody. wtf
She makes it sound as though it was wrong for me to not have a clear idea of what I wanted to do or become in the future. It's as though it was wrong for me to fear taking the wrong path and wanting to be doubly sure that I had the passion and was definite about the decision of studying medicine. At the age of 16, perhaps many unknown to me were sure of what they wanted, but that was not my case. I was scared. HOW then am I supposed to apply for scholarships for something I don't even know I want?
Yes, maybe it's true. Whether I want it or not I should apply first and reject it later if I don't want it.
So now it's my fault. Why didn't I apply when I had gotten O level results? Why didn't I make up my mind earlier in the year before the deadline? Why this why that. We are fretting over all this because of one effing reason. We have no money to afford me a high education. Absolutely none.
I know this sounds like I am not taking responsibility FOR my education but it's not like she'll let me work to earn and save some would she? It's not like I, the teenager, has a responsibility for the money needed to achieve an education. THEY, are responsible TO it. I have done everything I am possibly responsible FOR my education. I've studied hard, I've achieved results, I've participated in activities. The ONLY thing I didn't do was apparently making up my mind earlier. Wow, great job tiff what a bigass mistake you did there. totally unforgivable for your age. totally.